Photo x Ellard Vasen

Leave it all as it should be, not as you think they might like it.

Joshua Baumgarten

Leave the dictators to their piles of dirty dishes
the fascists to their fascination with fractions
and the conservatives to their unhealthy concern for Kabbalah.
Leave the liberals to their lizard skin collections
the professional athletes to their contemplation of their own lifespans
and the orphans around the world to their opinions about single-use plastics.
Leave the garbagemen to their cherry picking
the politicians to their arguments with their own spouses
and the Hollywood elite to their ever-increasing lactose intolerance.
Leave the poets to their Rubik’s cube pastimes
the songwriters to picking pistachio nuts from between their teeth
and the exotic dancers to paying back past taxes.
Leave the junkies to their double dutch jump rope
the professional bowlers to their Budweiser blue balls
and the weekend warrior badminton players to their uncircumcised shuttlecocks.
Leave the high school teachers to their stock investments in Kevlar
the lunch ladies to their frozen pizza preservative Fridays
and the school bus drivers to resisting every impulse to drive off a cliff.
Leave the Mexican day laborers to their salted margarita daydreams
the Orthodox Rabbis to their all you can eat kosher buffet at the Crab Cake Factory
and the Mormons to their insecurity when it comes to eating Swedish meatballs.
Leave the neo-nazis to their needlepoint swastika pillow making
the Muslim Brotherhood to their bow tie community controlled chaos
and the Hari Krishnas to their hopscotch game through a hostile universe.
Leave the punk rockers to their safety pin conformity safety net
the hip-hop heads to their 8 point Scrabble word score for the N-word
and the country music fans to the chewing gum stuck under the seats at the Grand Ole Opry.
Leave the barbers to deal with the insecure vanity of all the white boys with beards
the tattoo artists to all the misinterpretations of life that a person can persuade into their own skin
and the piercers to all the loopholes in life that may help another get over their hang-ups.
Leave the storytellers to their fabled lives of imaginary nobility
the acoustic guitar slinging troubadours to all their songs strung out on catgut
and the burlesque dancers to all their bellybuttons filled with boa feathers dust.
Leave the newscasters to their muppet like open and shut mouths
the journalists to their fear of being murdered, their graves labeled fake news
and the talk show hosts to the horrors of polite silence after midnight.
Leave the shopkeepers to ponder what do with all their extra stock
the cafe owners to all the empty tables waiting to occupied by cockroaches
and the fast food franchises to their pockets full of cash smeared in human fat.
Leave the Gods to their congregations buttoned up with fear
the choirs with their vocal cords strung like nooses around their necks
and the atheists to believing that they have the answers.
Leave the universe alone to manifest its own mayhem
Leave the distant planets as uninhabited as they currently are
and leave the future of humanity
a whisper of peace and success with
sorting out the mess
that all of us up until now
have scrambled into
tiny little pieces of asbestos.

Joshua Baumgarten/The Irrational Library – (1971) Expat suburban NY jew living the life in the Netherlands. Was taught early on by overly nationalistic school teachers to either “love it or leave it” so he left it. Now up to his neck in the muck of cultural agitation in Haarlemtown, Baumgarten is considered to be the second coming of some unknown beat poet from the ’60s. Baumgarten denies this and does not believe in reincarnation. Baumgarten has been said to use the word Fuck quite often in his writings. Baumgarten has no idea why the fuck that matters and thinks people who use twitter are ebola rats. Baumgarten is the author of a number of self-published books and continues to have little patience for poetry editors. As the frontman for the band The Irrational Library, Baumgarten says a lot of things that a large number of Dutch people don’t associate with. Baumgarten is currently writing a collection of sweet character assassination pieces about members of the Republican party. Baumgarten hopes that one day,  poetry will be the golden shower to rain down upon all the nationalistic idiots around the world.

Here are links to rants, rhymes, and rock:

The Poetry of Modern Urban Hope

The Irrational Library

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